Tackling Fussy Eaters: Strategies for Healthy Eating in Children

Why Is My Child So Fussy? 

Picky eating is one of the most common concerns among parents of young children, often leaving families feeling frustrated and worried about nutrition. But when we zoom out and look at the bigger picture, picky eating isn’t just about a child being “difficult.” It’s a complex, multifaceted behaviour influenced by biology, experience, and environment. 

Why Picky Eating Happens: It May Not Be Just a Phase 

It’s completely normal for children to become more selective with food during the toddler years. At this stage, they crave predictability, and food, especially new or differently textured foods can feel unpredictable or even threatening. 

For some children, picky eating stems from early negative experiences like choking, gagging, or being pressured to finish meals. Others may have sensory sensitivities to the texture, smell, temperature, or appearance of certain foods. And in many households, mealtime stress or family dynamics can unintentionally reinforce food refusal. 

It’s also important to rule out any underlying medical issues that could be contributing to food aversions. Reflux, constipation, mouth ulcers, or abdominal pain can all make eating uncomfortable, especially if children aren’t yet able to explain what they’re feeling. 

Picky eating isn’t always something kids simply “grow out of.” In some cases, it can progress into more serious food aversions or even conditions like ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), where eating is tied to fear, anxiety, or physical discomfort. The earlier these patterns are understood and supported, the better the outcomes for the child and the whole family. 

Practical Strategies That Actually Work 

One of the most powerful strategies is curiosity. Instead of focusing on what a child won’t eat, I like to start by looking closely at what they do enjoy. Is it the crunch? The temperature? The blandness or boldness of flavour? From there, we can build a bridge to new foods that have similar properties without the pressure. 

Here are some tried and tested strategies I recommend for encouraging more varied, relaxed eating: 

• Shared platters: Let kids serve themselves from a variety of familiar and new options. This creates autonomy and reduces pressure. 

• Let them choose: Have your child pick one meal each week for the family menu. It builds excitement and ownership. 

• Keep mealtimes pressure-free: Avoid negotiating bites or using food as a reward or punishment. Instead, foster a relaxed environment where food is neutral. 

• Expose without expectations: Repeated exposure to foods without pressure to eat can build familiarity and acceptance over time. 

The Nutrients That Matter Most 

Even the fussiest eater still needs key nutrients for healthy growth and development. Two of the most common nutrients that can contribute and potentially worsen to picky eating are: 

• Iron: Kids’ iron requirements are higher than those of an adult male. Low iron can affect energy, immunity, and even mood—and it’s especially critical in the early years. Common sources include red meat, legumes, eggs, and iron-fortified cereals. 

• Zinc: Zinc is essential not only for immunity and skin health but also for taste and appetite regulation. Low levels can worsen picky eating, creating a frustrating cycle. 

When nutrient gaps are a concern, strategic supplementation and food-first approaches can help ensure kids get what they need. 

Getting Started: First Steps for Smoother Mealtimes 

For families at the beginning of their fussy eating journey, I suggest starting with these gentle steps: 

• Routine: Stick to regular mealtimes with minimal grazing in between to build appetite. 

• Family meals: Eat together as often as possible. Kids model what they see. 

• Keep it neutral: Avoid praise or pressure. Let food be food. 

• Sensory play: Outside of mealtimes, let your child explore new foods with their hands, no eating required. 

Picky eating doesn’t need to feel like a battleground. With a deeper understanding of what’s driving the behaviour, and some practical tools in your parenting toolbox, you can turn mealtimes into moments of connection, exploration, and growth